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(Ummm... are you oka-)
Orphenoch sex!
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...
(What?)
They have orphenoch sex in this movie.
(Like... implied right.)
Heh heh, nope, he has his shirt unbuttoned after the deed is done and she is behind him her body hidden by a blanket.
(...Oh.)
L-Let's just get into this.
20 years after the events of the season, the government has tasked Smart brain with the elimination of all Orphenochs, now lead by a surprisingly alive Kitazaki, with the Orphenoch elimination task force led by Rena Kurumi who uses a new rider gear to become Kamen Rider Muez. Opposing them is Mari, Kusaka who according to Mari also just returned one day, Keitaro's nephew, and a new trio of orphenoch's. Where is Takumi in all of this... well, he went out to get groceries and never come back. But as it turns out he is also part of the orphenoch elimination group with a new updated rider outfit as the group tries to figure out what happened.
Now I know what I said is barely a plot synopsis but honestly... there really is no story whatsoever in this film, more just scenes that happen that you could say are a movie, It almost feels like a fever dream rather than an actual film from time to time and when the film did end I was like wait... that's it. Like even writing this right now I can't tell you if I even did see the movie. But I did and... it was an hour of my life I am trying to decide was worth it or not.
Like with OOO's 10th anniversary, one of the big issues is the film clearly has a lot more content it wants to delve into but doesn't have the time, in fact it almost feels like it wants to be the first in a potential film series, since it ends with Smart brain still around now with an android Kusaka as the rest of the main cast enjoy dinner. Just kind of ending there. Though I guess the whole plot of government backed Smart-brain working to execute the remaining Orphenoch's, since the last episode did set up a few plot lines, The lobster and Arch orphenoch hiding in wait for his Arch's recovery. And since the film seemingly considers any additional appearance's of Faiz not canon, maybe Takumi's degradation. Well that just matters for the him leaving and in turn becoming better.
And the new character... ugh, Kurumu, Kurumi? Painfully underdeveloped as this rival for Takumi's affection against Mari as a female Kusaka. alongside them is the new orphenoch trio that feels like they want to be Yuji, Yuka and Naoya again, but like Rena feel like hollow attempts that just have the basic, I am the tough guy who don't need anyone, life is pain and traitor and... girl. Oh yeah there is also not Keitaro who takes his place from the show, its neat but feels like he really isn't.
Oh yeah there is also the orphenoch sex scene near the climax that I brought up earlier. I don't mind it, its not like this was made with kids in mind, this is for Faiz fans and Inoue Diehards. But it is just this jarring moment that comes out of nowhere and goes on for a bit too long for comfort sake. But at least its something, something memorable a scene I can remember that isn't the characters talking. That's the big issue with this, yes its cool to see so many characters back and the suits do look cool, but its all style no substance, I mean Kusaka being mysteriously is a well earned twist here that you can pick up, he's not as mean regarding Takumi for one thing. But that's kind of the only cool thing plot wise, also it does feel disappointing that we don't get a tribute Masayuki Izumi in this, heck neither Yuji or Yuka are brought up at all during the movie. Considering Yuji's status as a deuteragonist he may have like a flashback or Takumi visiting a grave, but nothing, no scenes, no flashbacks for what I thought was the best character of the show.
Paradise Regained is very much like the show its celebrating, you either going to get it or you are not, but even then, I find it hard to recommend it now. It feels incomplete like its the first part of a series of movies. If all you wanted was to see some old characters in action again, some cool action, I guess its a recommend, but yeah... the rider anniversaries so far for me have been 0-2
FINAL GRADE: ABSOLUTE TRASH
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